Most marketers think that the best way to hold onto customers is through "engagement" — interacting as much as possible with them and building relationships. It turns out that that's rarely true.

Myth #1: Most consumers want to have relationships with your brand.

Actually, they don't. Only 23% of the consumers in our study said they have a relationship with a brand. In the typical consumer's view of the world, relationships are reserved for friends, family and colleagues.

The debate about whether social media and brands can really co-exist. Do customers really want a message from a brand right after viewing new baby pictures of their niece? These may be separated out in the future, a la foursquare.

Myth #2: Interactions build relationships.

No, they don't. Shared values build relationships. A shared value is a belief that both the brand and consumer have about a brand's higher purpose or broad philosophy. For example, Pedigree Dog Food's shared value is a belief that every dog deserves a loving home. Southwest Airlines' shared value revolves around the democratization of air travel.

Customers can turn on a dime. Southwest has such a loyal following because they made traveling something for the rest of us. Brands like Apple bring people in to what they can do with their devices and how it can enhance ones life.

Myth #3: The more interaction the better.

Wrong. There's no correlation between interactions with a customer and the likelihood that he or she will be "sticky" (go through with an intended purchase, purchase again, and recommend). Yet, most marketers behave as if there is a continuous linear relationship between the number of interactions and share of wallet.

This I have seen time and time again. It amazes me how many emails I get from large brands on a daily, sometimes more than a daily basis. I start to ignore these emails, as they tend to start offering the same thing over and over. Even for large retail brands, there are only a few items that they can target to my specific wants and needs, so many communications will see my interest wane. Make communications worth opening, it is much better to send an email that the customer will always open than an email they may just delete because they don't have time or they have become immune to too many communications.